Friday, March 5, 2010 at 4:28 AM Y
Blow up dusts & cowebs(it is right cowebs? or is it cobwebs?) that have been habitating here in my blogsite..
haha..its been like what..more than 5 months since i last updated this blog..well..here i am..making my comeback..though i dont promise to update as often after this..ya man..Alvls coming up real soon. Gotta be more serious & buck up(?)..
Ok..i don't know why is that lately i was feeling so emotional out of a sudden..yea of course no one noticed..im great at faking it..yea & no one know that there something is wrong with you..however over times, you'll get tired of it + its not easy to just laugh & smile & joke around when something is bothering you, making you feel all emotional inside, angry & sad. i know it cause i've been doing it for the past 2 years..yeah..sometimes i feel that it will turn you into a hipocrite.
so..yeah..its been 10 months now & things are still not getting better..it's been like this eversince we stopped doing what we were doing before..and things get bitter & bitter as days..weeks..& months went by..10 months..& u just ignored me..i mean like that..come on man..there must be an explaination..stop doing this to me..stop torturing me like this..i have feelings too you know. All im asking is for you to tell me the truths..even if it hurts..even if it gonna be something i don't want to hear..but..you never told me..you acted as if nothing happened..everytime i hear your voice my heart skipped a beat & i will always turned to find you..& when i saw you..i thought i'll never be able to hold back the urges to ask why.."WHY?" "WHY?" "WHY?"..but i cant..i just smiled at you & walk away..i cant believe im not that assertive..& i always hated myself for being that..i guess i'll never learned the truths.
it's such a wonder to think that it was me me me all this time..but now..it is her her her..nah..im not jealous or anything but i felt as if i was being used.."Motive"~ that what i call it..if that what you were doing all this while..then i hate to say this..but i will hate you..I'll forgive you but i'll hate you. yea..it's like that.
i can't believe it..you're doing the same thing to her..the same thing that you've done to me..what..im i that easily substitutable? i never felt so humiliated like this before..yo..people saw people notice..it looked like it was my fault things went this way..i always have this sick feeling if you were not around..i felt like things were incomple without you..but as times went by..all those feelings started to fade away..& now..whenever i see you i feel like running away..whenever i heard your voice..i felt like putting my hands on my ears..yes man..it
is that bad!
you're just a mere memory now..i'll never forget those moments..though i believe you will never ever even remember it..but it's ok..thanks for everything friend..thanks for being my close friend once..i'll never forget your care..the way you looked at me..nobody ever looked at me like that before..but that was then..now i don't even think you're aware that i even exist.
I'm not going anywhere..im still here..it's you whose fading away from my life..
Now it's Goodbye~ I hope you're Happy..Happy with her. =)
THE-END
some story wasnt it? haha..
will you believe me if i say this is just something that i created. It's not real. LOL
so till here my post ends.
bubbye for now
salaam
\m/
"I Will Always Love You!"
